Over at The Nihon Review we’re trying out something different with blogs. We’re going to have a staff blog at behind-the.nihonreview.com

For the time being, I will be writing there exclusively, and mothballing The Bear Cave. So if you like what you see here, be sure to check out my writing on the new staff blog.

Thanks for your patience!

(”'’)(;,,;)(”'’)

Answerman has admitted that a lot of the rants he was publishing were sub-par. I don’t blame him/her/cat, I blame the fools out there who flood his inbox with bad rants, often leaving him no other choice than to publish an inferior product. Hopefully, the new set of rules and guidelines put me out of a job. Sturgeon’s law says otherwise.

I’m going to write some non-Answerman related posts about different topics soon. Even so, like the smoker who just has to have one more, I couldn’t let this rant go unanswered. The rant is written by “Jim” and he thinks The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya is over-rated. He’s welcome to his opinion, and he doesn’t hate the show, but he does have a few misconceptions.

Alright, I’ve had enough.

Me too. Wait, you’re just beginning your rant, sigh…

A few weeks ago, I’ve been reading reviews about this new anime series called The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and I couldn’t wait to go through and watch it. I had to dig through a few torrent sites to actually find a subbed copy since it was already licensed. (I’m cheap I know, but not because I want to, just because I can’t afford DVDs.) After a day or 2 of downloading I finally saw the series. And I must say, I’m really disappointed…

And I must say, I’m really disappointed that you lack basic knowledge of subject-verb agreement (or at least proofreading skills).

Is it really smart to admit to illegal activity like this?

I’ve not found a good non-biased review about this series and I think I may have been tricked into this over-hyped series. Here, I’m wanting to tell everybody what this series is really about and tell what’s wrong here.

The disappointement continues. Extraneous words, poor comma usage, double negatives, and just poor sentence structure. “Jim” has barely stated his point, and in a few sentences, he’ll want us to take him seriously, despite his tenuous grasp of the English language.

Okay, lets review on what this series is… in simple terms.

“Jim” proceeds to outline the basic premise of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, getting key details wrong, such as Kyon “landing” Haruhi as his girlfriend, and using poor word choices that trivialize the show and could make people think the plot goes in directions that it actually doesn’t. I’ve decided not to copy his summary, because it contains spoilers and you’ll be seeing enough bad English anyway.

Okay, seems pretty good, a pretty original plot. A nice cast of interesting characters to go along with. Seems like everything is going smoothly right? This will be a great series for generations to come and enjoy.

No, not really…

I wish I could nail “Jim” here for using a straw man fallacy, but there are some people who take TMoHS to be beyond awesome, an “11 out of 10″ as he later says. I think TMoHS is a fantastic anime, definitely in my top ten anime, and possibly my top five. Those who obsess over it are at least somewhat justified, in that TMoHS is an excellent, excellent show.

Okay, lets start off with what’s wrong with the series. First of all, the plot.

The Ana chronological\Chronological debate. Who ever decided to air this series out of order and\or without a script rewrite to make this series flow better is an idiot.

What the heck is Ana chronological?! That must not be English he’s speaking. For the uninitiated, what he’s talking about is the Haruhi/Kyon episode order debate. During the previews, Haruhi shouts out an “incorrect” episode number (e.g. “seven” when the next episode is the third one) and Kyon corrects her with the chronological number that should come next. There are two different episode orders, the order in which the episodes were aired, and the order in which they actually happen. The whole thing is kind of cool.

I do have one beef with the structuring, which I’ll talk about in a bit, but the guy who had the idea is hardly an “idiot.” It was a great idea that was for the most part exercised very well.

Does a person who can’t even figure out which slash to use on the keyboard and that “who ever” is one word have the right to call someone an idiot?

Let me explain, a series needs to have a feeling of suspense as to what is going to happen next throughout the series. Haruhi gains the suspense and reaches a climax at EPISODE 6!! So what does this mean? It means Episode 7-14 is mostly filler and doesn’t have a big impact on the series. When I first watched this, I was thinking “What the hell?! Did who ever uploaded this screw up the ordering?” The series didn’t make much sense when it jumped around between the middle and end of the series but it did give a sense of suspense somewhat. To sum it up, the series should have been rewritten to make it flow like the AnaChrono series but still make sense from episode to episode.

TMoHS does reach a climax at episode six…if you watch it in chronological order instead of broadcast order. The show is better if you watch it in the order it was broadcast in, since it follows a more natural progression. I agree with the sentiment that the series can be confusing when it jumps around in its chronological progression, but it’s only confusing for maybe two episodes, and it’s a neat feeling when you realize that things are being shown out of order. It’s really a small complaint, and it didn’t really hurt my enjoyment of the series.

Don’t read the next paragraph or my response to it if you haven’t seen TMoHS and plan on doing so.

Next in line, the characters.

What can we say about Haruhi that hasn’t been thought of before by Kyon himself. Haruhi is selfish, stuck-up, spoiled and a sociopath. She’s also a criminal, her list being extortion, blackmail, kidnapping, and molestation to name a few. Her powers really compliment her though as she can destroy a world like a Old Testament God if nobody goes along with her ideas. She isn’t a really likable character The only time when I’ve liked her was when she was vulnerable or quiet. She’d probably be a Mary Sue if she was more likable since she’s already so great at everything imaginable and every guy wants to go out with her, I guess it makes sense to have her as a psycho bitch then.

Yeah, Haruhi has her issues, but there are reasons for much of her behavior, (she doesn’t even know that she can end the universe) and even if you truly loathe Haruhi, a character that one can truly hate is just as well written, if not more so, than a character you can truly love.

Asahina.. I don’t know why she’s in the series except for being fan service and to up the moe factor (She’s like somebody from Kanon or Air). She doesn’t seem to really study Haruhi but only to go along with her plans of using Asahina as a dress-up doll. She always makes me wince a little whenever Haruhi is around because she usually acts like a molestation victim around her, which Haruhi usually does with the Bunny-Girl, Nurse, and Maid outfits. Though she still wears those outfits with pride and serves tea with a smile on her face though, I kinda wonder if she actually enjoys this the whole time.

Oh man…

Asahina Mikuru is a satire of the Moe/fanservice genres of anime, as is evidenced by Haruhi’s dramatically ironic statements about why she recruited Asahina for the SOS Brigade.

It’s people like you who think Jonathan Swift was a canniballistic baby murderer, and that Ann Coulter actually wants a seperate line at the airport for blue-eyed blondes so they don’t have to be searched for weapons.

“Jim” also describes Itsuki Koizuma, whom he thinks should be funnier, and Yuki Nagato, whom he thinks is awesome. I cut it for brevity.

But the biggest problem that I found is that the series feels incomplete like there should be something else after Episode 14. We could have had a few episodes on The Agency, more aliens, more action sequences against some other supernatural entities, and even having Haruhi and Kyons relationship develop into something more natural instead of having it forced. But instead of the 26 episodes that this series should have gotten, it’s like the the writers just didn’t care anymore after halfway through the series. You’ll be really disappointed with the last episode as nothing happens for the entire episode, only Kyon being the slave again and fetches a “free” heater.

Well, there is a second season rumored, but TMoHS is fine as it is. The last episode he is talking about is the last chronological episode instead of the last episode aired which ends much better.

Now I won’t say that this series is bad, far from it. It’s original and written well from the main characters (Kyon’s) view, though some of the plot outside of the school\natural life aspect will confuse anyone who isn’t ready for something really deep (read Evangelion). The animation and art for the series are excellent and shows that a very good budget was used, even during the final episodes. The music was nice to listen too, a nice mix of shoujo themed songs are thrown in and it doesn’t seem real sweet enough to rot out teeth. It’s still good but there’s a lot left to be desired.

And the truth comes out! “Jim” doesn’t like deep anime and has apparently decided the rest of us who do are stupid.

If I had to give this series some kind of score, it’d be a 7 out of 10, I’m being generous here, and not the supreme 11 out of 10 most people seem to be wanting.

Don’t believe the hype.

Note to the Haruhi purists, if you don’t like my rant, come back in two years with a more open mind. That’s how I got off the crap of DBZ and Pokémon.

Actually, I can nail “Jim” with a straw man fallacy. Thanks buddy! I don’t see how it’s justifiable to compare TMoHS with DBZ and Pokemon in terms of quality.

“Jim” just said he didn’t think TMoHS is bad, and a few sentences later is implying that it is “crap.” Where’s the consistency?

On a side note, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya gets a 9 or 9.5 out of 10 from me.

Later dudes.

(”'’)(;,,;)(”'’)

…one which I have minor complaints about.

Seriously though, Answerman’s latest three rant column actually has some great rants in it that had me singing “amen” like a southern church (not really). The rant in the middle, by “Yifan Sun”, actually talks about a recent favorite topic of mine: Narutards, or more specifically those who attack Narutards. Despite my small disagreements, it is a well-formed rant and some thought was put into it, so I might actually be nice today.

I’d like to address people who negatively identify any particular anime with its fans.

I’m listening.

Now, we see this kind of behavior all the time, but oftentimes we’ve grown accustomed to this without examining the implications behind it. It’s not too uncommon to see people who denounce Naruto as childishly immature,

It is childlishly immature. It is a kids show plus a little graphic content due to cultural differences.

Kanon as pandering to a worthless moe subculture, or Ouran High School Host Club as merely satisfying the insatiable appetites of fangirls.

I can’t really say much about either of these anime, because I haven’t seen them. According to a guy I know, whose opinions about anime I trust, Ouran is the most mysoginistic anime he has ever seen because of its portrayal of women as mindless fangirl cattle. He can’t figure out why any female with an ounce of self respect would like the show. If that is true, I think that is saying something about the fans of the show.

Even though I don’t even like some of those shows, it still infuriates me to hear such “critiques” of a show. Each of these criticisms are disguised as “problems” present in the show, miss-targeting the series itself as a way to hit home against the true target: the show’s fans. To me, it seems like censures such as these are nothing more than indirect insults against the fans of these anime, manifested by the vibrant anti-fandom groups.

These critiques, while they may be vague, are valid. A big part of the reason Naruto is bad is because it is childlishly immature. Narutards are childishly immature people.

Definition time.

Naruto fan: Someone who watches Naruto, perhaps gets a little enjoyment out of it, and has few to no illusions about the quality of the show.

Narutard: Someone who constantly clicks the refresh button on the distro page waiting for the next “gripping” episode of Naruto, sleeps in Naruto cosplay, has wet dreams about character X, has more than two posters/wall scrolls of Naruto images displayed in their room, writes disturbing yaoi/yuri fanfics about Naruto characters, and thinks that Naruto is the best thing to ever come from Japan.

It’s a real shame that Narutards give Naruto fans such a bad rap. It is also important to distinguish between the two, and realize that not everyone who likes Naruto is a Narutard, and it certainly isn’t right to judge someone based on an anime they watch. I know some very smart, and cool individuals who watch Naruto. Guess which category of fan they fall in?

Now, I’m not here to preach morality, but rather practicality. Indirect insults have their place (they can be rather amusing and witty when done right), but this is not it, especially when you examine the repercussions of these actions.

Anti-fandom groups? Repercussions? I think the language in this rant is a little strong. I have no idea what an anti-fandom group is, or is supposed to be, nor do I think there are any real repercussions to directly or indirectly insulting Narutards. There is no reason to be out and out mean to these people, but I hardly think the consequences of doing so are damning.

Firstly, how are these affecting the fans that they’re directed towards? Are Narutards or Haruhiists going to admit the error of their ways and repent to you for showing them the light of their sub-par show?

OH NO YOU DIH INT.

Sure, there are some Haruhi fans who take their obsession to Narutardish levels, but come on, Haruhi isn’t a sub-par show by any stretch of the imagination. I think this belief comes from mankind’s inability to grasp satire, causing people to view Haruhi as the very thing it so wittily parodies.

I only have one Haruhi wall scroll, so hah!

As for actually changing their minds, well, one can hope. Discussing Narutards is more for venting and, hopefully helping prevent anime fans from being judged solely by the worst of their kind.

Are the Otakin from a while back or the Flake guy from last week going to turn away from such shows because of your mindless condemnations? No, chances are this will only provoke them further, failing to diminish the number of fans while succeeding in diminishing your reputation. People are not blind enough to need you to point out that there are idiots among every single fan group without exception. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, these rash comments reflect quite negatively on anime to outside critics. How much more justified are their baseless accusations of anime being childish or distasteful when they see you, the self-proclaimed anime fan, accusing in the same manner? Come on now, we don’t need anime fans themselves destroying their own hobby.

This is a valid point, although I’m not convinced that anime fans criticizing other anime fans is childish or distasteful, unless it is done in a manner such as, “omg u liek naruto that show iz 4 fags.” I don’t think intelligent and honest discussion about the ills of Narutardism is “anime fans destroying their own hobby.” This is starting to sound a little like “Chris” who believes we shouldn’t say anything bad about anime ever.

Of course, making these broad claims about shows you know merely by the fans will likely obliterate your credibility amongst any half-intelligent fans as well; it’s like claiming to be an authority on biochemistry simply because your brother-in-law majored in biochemistry in college. Now, I’m not demanding you to watch every single episode just to have the right to criticize something. I’m not even asking you to admit anything good about a show you dislike; go ahead and think that Naruto or Kanon or Ouran have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. All I’m asking is for you to criticize responsibly and reasonably, and to articulate it correctly, as it is definitely worth the trouble in the long run. If you habitually present legitimate grievances to shows you don’t like, then I probably don’t have any qualms with you. But if you find yourself making crude assertions such as those listed earlier, then listen up. Sure, there might be some truth to the claims that Naruto is childish, Kanon has moe girls, and Ouran has bishies, but this doesn’t give you an excuse to forego using your brain while deploring them. Why not instead say that Naruto presents concepts such as hard work and commitment in naïve and simplistic ways that do not accurately reflect such ideals? Or that you personally found Kanon’s or Ouran’s character designs and personalities to be unrealistic and unappealing? You will likely win more people over with reason than with vitriol. Even if you don’t change anyone’s mind, you will likely gain respect even from dissenters for your well-expressed views. If you opt for the opposite tactic, then I assure you that there are people like me who will remember your unsubstantiated credibility, and will not tolerate any hypocrisy from you in the future.

This is very true. I have, to a degree, been guilty of this very thing. It’s one thing to say Naruto is childish, it’s another to explain why. One is good writing/reviewing, the other is a cop-out.

Then again, there is no such thing as a legitimate grievance about Naruto to Narutards.

I have faith that the vast majority of you are not such socially challenged attention addicts, but rather genuine fans of anime. In that case, I implore you to define and show your admiration of anime by love, not by hatred.

Yeah, it really is better to talk about the stuff you like than the stuff you hate.

I think I need a new topic or two.

Until next time,

(”'’)(;,,;)(”'’)

My post about defending anime as an art form has sparked some discussion.  This post by gaguri made me think.

Just addressing the comment about narutards defending the show as art…

Many of them are insecure and are in denial of the fact that they’re enjoying a show intended for little kids, a lot has to do with the fact that they really do see it as art. They are absorbed into the world of Naruto so much that they really do feel emotions when the drama happens. But since I’m not in their shoes, I can not speak for them as I can not truly know whether their powerful emotional responses to naruto is genuine or exaggerated and fabricated in order to give more meanings to the show.

Many people also treat Elfen Lied (which is noted for mature audience, I’d personally say it’s an adolescents show) as the saddest anime of all time, which tells me a lot about what kind of animes make them feel sad. As for the ever famous show ‘The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya’, there are fans who treat this as one of the best anime out there, while many see it as a mediocre anime with a very poor story-telling. Hearing both sides of the argument, you can’t exactly say either of them are wrong. Some may see harutards in the same fashion as narutards, but seeing as how we mock narutards, we can’t really blame them.

I do think that when one is exposed to more animes in various types, one does learn to refine his taste and develop a sense of what is an art and what is not. But that is still his own definition, that will differ from people to people. Is bunch of splashes Pollock make an art? Can a home-made video tape of a rubbish bag dancing in the wind move people to tears? Seek the answer by listening to your heart and find no need to criticise others for seeing something that you don’t see, and not seeing something you can see.

Is artistic merit merely a matter of opinion, or is it a measurable quality that some things possess?  gaguri seems to believe that artistic merit is determined by the ability to provoke a genuine emotional response in the observer/listener.  This would imply that art is in the eye of the beholder.  I believe that while artistic merit can in some ways be subjective, it is also a measurable quality.

Dictionary.com defines art as:

Certainly, the things we find beautiful or appealing are matters of opinion, and on these grounds we cannot attack Naruto as unartistic.  However, the third criterion of the first definition, “of more than ordinary significance” seems more concrete and measurable.  A person who has not seen any shounen action series other than Naruto may find Naruto to be significant, but this person is uninformed about how derived Naruto really is.  To those who are more familiar with the genre, Naruto is hardly significant.  The Naruto fan could argue (if he were able to put two sentences together coherently ) that Naruto is of more than ordinary significance because the quality of the show sets it apart from other anime.  This arguement comes from ignorance and inexperience, because those who are well-versed in anime almost exclusively dislike Naruto.

Emotional response cannot be the only criterion for what is considered art.  Almost everything provokes some kind of emotional response, from the most tasteless pornography to the most brilliant masterpiece.  If I suddenly burst into tears for no apparent reason, does that mean my surroundings are art?  Certainly not.  There must be some objective criterion for determining what is art, or else we might as well throw out the idea that anything can be of more significance than anything else.  If my opinion regarding an anime is as relevant as a Narutard’s who has seen maybe ten or less anime all of one genre, than I might as well quit NHRV, because experience means nothing in separating the wheat from the chaff.  Opinions are not created equal; some are better informed than others.

I’m not criticizing people for liking Naruto, Pollock splashes, or dancing garbage bags.  I just think these people need a bit of a reality check about what it is they are watching.

I hope I’m not putting words in your mouth, Gaguri.  Like I said, your post just got me thinking, and I probably went somewhere completely different from where you started me.

I was working on a post about defining what is considered “art” and what is simply product, but I just couldn’t let this Answerman rant get away with being wrong about basically everything. The other post is almost done and will be posted soon.

At least “Scheherazade” has decent grammar, unlike the last poor guy whose opinion I tore apart. However, her ideas are even less grounded, and she’s got an arrogant tone to boot.

Quick aside: How many different spellings of Scheherazade are there?

I’ve NEVER heard anyone else bring up this topic before, so I guess I’ll have to do so myself.

Oh, you noble hero! Teller of tales, protector of Italian virginity! How self sacrificing you are to set us all right!

Okay, that was jaded and mean, even for me. Read on.

I want to make it clear, right off the bat, that I am a subs fan.

When someone says they are a “subs fan” what this means is that they have seen less than ten dubs, all of which are 4Kids dubs, or dubs that are over five years old. I’m not implying here that it is bad in any way to prefer subs to dubs. I’m just saying that if one wants to criticize something, one needs to be familiar with it, which we will quickly see Scheherazade is not. Personally, I watch a lot of both subs and dubs, and make my preference on a case by case basis. So do all the cool kids.

This rant, however, has nothing to do with the perennial subs vs. dubs debate, so you can unclose that mind right now.

As we will soon see, this rant is very much about subs vs. dubs. Oh, and take your own advice.

Even though I am a subs fan, I understand that others prefer dubs, and that releasing DVDs with a dub track in the States is a sensible economic decision by the localizing companies to try to broaden the market.

This, at least, puts you in the better half of “subs fans”. It’s surprising how many people still don’t grasp this concept. It is financial suicide to release an anime in America without a dub, no matter how bad that dub is. Some of these dubs are done on the cheap, and are terrible, but they are not representative of American dubbing in general, which has vastly improved over the past five years. I think “sub fans” are just upset that subs aren’t the default track on most R1 DVDs.

What incenses me, however, is that I and everybody else who buys DVDs are helping to pay the salaries of the mostly mediocre-to-cringe-worthy voice actors who do the dubs. The quality of the dubbing is usually horrendous; the fact that a good or even fairly decent dub is worth pointing out says a lot. In my opinion, if you’re going to do something, you might as well do it right.

Here is where it becomes apparant that you don’t watch any big-name dubs. Mediocre-to-cringe-worthy voice actors who do the dubs?! Crispin Freeman and Chris Ayers have been on Broadway. They aren’t the only ones. Wendee Lee has been doing all sorts of high level voice work for over twenty years. Most of the Funimation and AD Vision crew are professional theatre actors. In fact, most anime voice actors are professional actors of some form or another. You can’t get into professional acting if you “suck.”

Here’s another shocking statement: No one makes their entire living off doing anime voice work. Voice acting is very demanding work that is strenuous on the voice. Usually, you can only do voice work for no more than four hours per day, every two to three days. This is assuming you’re one of about two-dozen people who actually get consistant anime voice work. Considering that most anime dubbing is done outside of the Screen Actors’ Guild (even though a large number of anime voice actors are members), these actors are being paid under SAG minimum to work maybe 12-16 hours per week at most (if you’re a Crispin Freeman/Wendee Lee type). The highest paid anime voice actors probably take home in the neighborhood of $2,000-$3,000 per month from their anime dubbing work. When you live in a big California city and are trying to support yourself, that’s peanuts.

There still are a number of dubs that are “cringe-worthy,” because some companies need to dub some titles on the cheap, but like I said, this isn’t the norm. Good dubs are so plentiful now, that it is the bad dubs that are worth pointing out. In a perfect world, every anime would be dubbed by the best voice actors, but since we don’t live in a perfect world it isn’t as simple as “doing it right.” Oh, and take your own advice.

Oh, but I can already hear you saying something along the lines of “But American voice actors just can’t emote the way Japanese ones do, so there’s nothing to be done about it.”

Umm, No. I’m not saying anything of the sort. In fact I’m saying the opposite. If you could really predict my responses, you would have realized how wrong you are by this point and stopped typing. Those who do not understand their opponents’ arguements do not really understand their own. The only thing more pathetic than your knowledge of dubbing is your “precognitive ability”

WRONG.

Well, duuuuhhh.

English speakers who don’t do monotones and don’t seem like they’re just reading off a script and can emote and do accents and convincingly take on different roles with different styles of speech and different pitches and different pacing and all that fun stuff DO exist.

It is now apparent that you don’t even understand the dubbing process. Voice over work is done by watching the animation being dubbed over while reading the line to match the mouth flaps and trying to sound convincing. If that sounds difficult, that’s because it is. Voice over, like all forms of acting, takes practice to get good at it. No matter who you get to do the dubbing, they will all be reading from a script. Ironically, the single worst dub performance I’ve ever heard is A-List actor Keifer Sutherland in Armitage: Dual Matrix. Just because someone is good at one form of acting doesn’t mean they will be good at another. Your audiobook actors might be awful at dubbing, or they might not be.

Let me give you a moment to absorb that.

Thanks. I needed a minute to pick my jaw up off the floor from the shock of all this stupidity.

No, I am utterly serious.

I was afraid of that.

As for where these mythological creatures might be found, have you ever heard of, seen, or know what audiobooks are?

Seeing as how I work in a library and spend twenty-plus hours per week around them, yes I know a bit about audiobooks.

If you haven’t, do not pass GO, do not collect $200, go straight to Wikipedia or your favorite dictionary.

Fun fact: Scientific studies suggest that using cliches in your speech makes people pay less attention to you. In this case, that might be a good thing.

The people who read these things for the commercial releases are AMAZING. There is just no other way to describe it. After a while, you can pretty much tell whether it’s description or which of the main characters is speaking at the moment just by listening to how the narrator is reading the text, without paying attention to the words themselves. And sometimes, you really have to concentrate to see the similarities in the voices, even knowing that it’s all the same person, because suspension of disbelief is SO easy.

The people reading audiobooks don’t have match lip-flaps, which gives them much more artistic freedom to read their lines as they see fit. As for the voice changing, there are plenty of anime voice actors who I have a hard time recognizing because they are so good at changing their voices. Not that you probably care, since you obviously closed your mind to dubs well before you wrote this.

This shouldn’t really be surprising, because the audiobook market is a more mainstream one that is probably also larger than the market for anime.

True enough.

Presumably, there’s more competition, so the narrators that manage to keep their jobs and thrive have to actually be good at that job.

I have no idea how much competition there is for narrating audiobooks, but I do know that there is tons of competition for anime voice acting roles. A person could have to attend dozens of auditions to get even a “Soldier A” part in anime. It might take dozens of “Soldier A” parts to get a minor role, and from there perhaps even longer to get a major role that might allow you to get your 12-16 hours per week in. Believe it or not, there actually is a process for weeding out dub talent.

But hey, don’t take MY word for it. Whether you believe me or not, I dare you to go listen to a few audiobooks with different narrators and judge their merit for yourselves.

Been there, done that. Like I’ve already established, being good at reading audiobooks, or being good at any form of acting, does not necessarily mean someone will be good at a different form of acting. Now, I dare you to actually watch a dub of a high profile title released in the last five years.

Do try to tell me I’m wrong.

*snicker*

Some actors moonlight as voice actors. I just don’t see why audiobook narrators can’t do the same thing—or why the companies that release anime can’t try to recruit the pros, the real talent, the people who can actually draw us into what we’re seeing on the screen instead of pushing us away, into the industry, even on a part-time basis, instead of making us put up with the same recycled, mediocre voice acting over and over and over again.

Audiobook narrators probably price themselves higher than what most dub compandies can afford, otherwise I’m sure the companies would love to give them an audition. Dubbing studios don’t really recruit, they hold open auditions, so if no audiobook readers show up, can they really complain? This reminds me of Manga Entertainment continuously trying, and failing to reach Wesley Snipes (who is supposedly an anime fan) to do voice work.

Isn’t the customer always right?

1. Scheherazade is a customer.

2. Scheherazade is wrong about anime dubbing.

3. Ergo, the customer is not always right.

While I search for a new topic, I’ll take some time to respond to my readers.

Rove: 

Hi Kuma, gotta say I loved your insights on that particular question at Hey, Answerman. Did you post it on the ANN forums? I’m guessing that it might be a bit late by now, but it was still worth it even if I read that column and the battle that ensued at the ANN forums from it several weeks ago.

For excellent examples of what a review written “According to your plan, I should review every harem anime from the point of view of a harem anime fan, and every shounen anime as a shounen fan.” try reading any review at Anime On DVD by Chris Beveridge (aka The Owner of AOD), that man’s reviews are the antithesis of what a review should be, aka, a well-written point of view.

Thank you very much, Rove.  No, I didn’t post it on the ANN forums, but I might go there later today and see if I can stir the pot a little.  This rant really pushed my buttons, can you tell?  My biggest problem with the reviews on AoD, ANN, Newtype, etc. is that the reviewers are being sent free product by the companies.  This obligates them, at least on a sub-concious level, to rate the title higher than it deserves so that the free product keeps on coming.  Heck, Newtype is even published by AD Vision; do you think they might tend to write glowing reviews of their own product?  More about this in a later post, where I will tackle the American Anime Industry and their attitudes about what we should watch, as well as their take on fan-subbing.

Kurier:

Glad to see you’ve finally awaken, Kuma.

Your first post is a good read, hopefully this will forshadow things to come.

I agree with you about being honest rather then pretending something isn’t bad just to seem like a “fresh” reviewer. You can’t please everyone, so it is best to be an equal opportunity hater.

Equal opportunity hater.  I think you just gave me my next forum title.  Yeah, it’s not like it’s impossible to criticize the same things over and over while still being fresh.  It’s difficult, but it’s something all good reviewers strive for.  All we can do is be honest about our opinions, otherwise why even bother writing?

gaguri:

kukuku, 21 year old bear ranting about an anime. Best blog evar. You should get pheld to photoshop a grizzly bear watching an anime and use it instead of polar bears.

Wow, one post and I’ve already got the coveted title of “Best blog evar”.  I’d love to have a banner like the one you suggested, but someone’s going to have to make it for me since I’m photoshop illiterate.  The polar bears was the only WP theme I could find with bears on it.

Pachinko:

Oooh, this was quite an interesting first post. It was actually delightful to read =D

I’m anticipating more, just so you knowww.

I’m glad you enjoyed it, and believe me there will be more.  Whenever I find a good topic I’ll be sure to post my thoughts about it.

Akira:

The whole thing on cliche is justified; I personally believe that you can’t really review something objectively if you already have a negative bias towards it.

You said, “According to your plan, I should review every harem anime from the point of view of a harem anime fan, and every shounen anime as a shounen fan.”

I agree with you; you just can’t do that, it completely destroys objectivity!

Great job on writing a deep blog. Unlike me. >_>;

I linked you; link me back XD

Well, as has been discussed in numerous places on NHRV, it is impossible to review anything purely objectively.  You’re right, it’s even harder to be objective when you don’t like the genre to begin with.  One could argue that some genres are, by definition, inherently inferior to others, but all I really worry about when I review titles is how much I enjoyed it, while keeping my frame of mind as objective as possible.

Not everyone wants to read deep arguements about fandom all the time.  People need lighter fare as well.  Reading deep analysis all the time can be tedious.

*link*

Kurier:

Oh thanks be to the Bear gods. Finally, someone else who has the balls to point out that Naruto is made for kids. I’ve found that a lot of people won’t voice this opinion when faces with the shear number of Narutards out there. Well, I stand by you!

Narutards, like everyone else on the internet are about as harmless as a bowl of mashed potatoes.  They know in their heart of hearts that Naruto is a kids show.  They just won’t admit it because they aren’t secure enough with themselves to openly express their love of children’s television.  Like I said, it’s fine to like shows like Naruto, but please, call a spade a spade.

Sorrow-kun:

Naruto is, like you said, hardly art, but I can see why people do find it so enjoyable (even though I find much of it rather grating, myself). I do feel sorry for whoever eventually watches all 220-ish eps to review it (since, technically, it’s a completed series now). Even though I’ve watched more than half of it, I wouldn’t want to be the poor bastard who does it.

Hey, I took one for the team when I watched and reviewed 167 episodes of InuYasha.  Now it’s your turn.

Naruto is fine for turning your brain off and killing some time, which we all need to do once in a while.  Why people feel the need to defend it as art is beyond me.

Akira:

Hey, this goes hand in hand with my article about weaboos. Bravo, I agree completely. =D

I enjoyed your article about weaboos very much.  People should be proud of their own culture.  These weaboos think Japan is nothing but maid cafes, manga stores, and anime shops.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  From what I understand, Japan sells about as many anime DVDs as America does.  While Japan has less population, it’s not like everyone there is an anime fan, so those weaboos may be in for a shock.

I always prefered the term Wapanese.

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Sorry about the delay between posts. I’ve had a little trouble coming up with a decent topic, but the wait is over. Today I’ll be talking about:

Anime as (or not as) an art form

When the inevitable comparisons between anime and Western animation are drawn, the anime side always likes to bring up that anime is an art form, not toy commercials, kids shows, and pornography. This is true in many ways, since there are many wonderful works of art in anime such as Grave of the Fireflies, Now and Then, Here and There, Mushishi, etc.

What pisses me off is that a lot of the people who go out and try to support anime’s legitimacy as an art form only watch toy commercials and kids shows and cry like someone threw a bucket of paint on the Mona Lisa whenever one of these shows is edited/dubbed.

Shows like Naruto, Inuyasha, Yu-Gi-Oh and Bleach exist for a short list of reasons:

1. To sell toys
2. To entertain Japanese children
3. To make money

What really bothers me is when Western adults act like these titles are dark and mature. Any suggestion that what they watch is intended for children is met with vehement protests and posts in all capital letters OMG NARUTO ISNT KIDS STUF KAKASI PUTS HIS HAND THROUGH ZAABUZA AND ITS ALL BLOODY NO WAY IS THAT KIDZ SHOW.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with people liking or watching any of the aforementioned titles, but there are a few things these people need to realize and admit. No matter what the Western audience for a shounen action title is like, the fact remains that these titles were designed for Japanese 8-13 year olds. Blood, and swear words added by horrible translators who think it’s really cool for Inu Yasha to say “motherf**ker” do not make a title more mature. The blood is reflective of nothing more than a cultural difference of opinion on what is appropriate for children. The swear words are usually added by some guy who can’t admit he likes Japanese youth television and is trying to deflect criticism by making the dialogue more “adult.” The content may not be considered child appropriate in Western culture, but thematically these titles are no more mature than anything aimed at the same age group of American children.

Does anyone over the age of fifteen actually believe that swearing makes you seem grown-up?

Long running kids shows aren’t the only ones that don’t contribute to the credibility of anime. There are plenty of shorter running series, designed only for fan-service or appealing to certain fetishes in the fan community that can only hurt one’s arguement for respectability.

Some people watch anime with no redeeming social value, as well as works of animated brilliance in an attempt to experience all anime has to offer. I’m fine with that. I really don’t even care if all you watch are the genres I’ve just burned, but if you do, don’t go out and try to argue anime’s merits. You’re only hurting the cause, and it makes you a hypocrite.

Agree? Disagree? Just want to flame me so I have material for a future post? Comment, PM me, or e-mail me at kuma@nihonreview.com. If you find a poorly crafted written opinion you want me to tear to pieces, feel free to pass that along as well.

(”'’)(;,,;)(”'’)

…I think I’ll just go ahead and get this blog up and moving.

Hello to all readers of this humble blog. I am Kuma, a twenty-one year old bear who likes to review anime. No, I’m not a furry or an otherkin, I’m actually a bear who leads a somewhat normal life in a human disguise. I’d tell you more, but then I’d have to kill you. Most of the posts in this blog will be my take on some recent trend or development in the world of anime. Occasionally, I’ll give my two cents on an anime I’m in the middle of watching, and once in a while I might rant about something non-anime/Japanese culture related.

Inspired by the latest Hey, Answerman! rant, written by “Chris,” here is my opinion on cliches in anime, and why I rate cliched titles so lowly. Quotes from the column are in bold.

What bothers me the most about what I too often (in my opinion) read in so many anime reviews is one simple thing. The word “cliche” and/or the phrase “something we’ve all seen before”. I just can’t stand to see that in practically every review I come across.

Cliches are as much a part of anime as animation and music. The anime industry thrives by making tons of titles that follow a predictable formula, and keeps its credibility by making a few titles that take new directions, titles with unfamiliar stories and gripping progression. This isn’t to say that most anime is intentionally poor, rather, like all film, most producers are more worried about marketability than they are about creativity. Since most people watch anime as a passive form of entertainment, most titles need only to give people something familiar for them to enjoy, without making them pay close attention to nuances, themes, and foreshadowing. Not knowing what to expect can be a discomforting feeling, which causes people to avoid stories that are unfamiliar.

If you are one such person, anime reviews are not for you. You could probably put every title currently airing up on a dartboard, throw darts, and hit something that will suit your purposes. Or you could find out what your friends are watching and enjoy it along with them. The purpose of anime reviewing is to point people who watch anime to see something different in new and exciting directions. I, and I’m sure most anime reviewers, watch as much anime as we do because we want to experience new things. Seeing the exact same setup again and again is a waste of our times, because we’ve been there before. Our goal is to steer like-minded others away from those titles and towards fresh experiences.

I’m not sure why you think the words “cliche” and “something we’ve all seen before” are in almost every review. You probably read twenty different individual disk reviews of titles like InuYasha. Most of the reviews I’ve read don’t use these terms.

I don’t mind so much when someone says the animation is not amazing, or the voice actors could have been better, and stuff like that.

Which implies that on some level it does bother you when people say such things. I’ve got to wonder why you think telling other people about pitfalls of a title is a bad thing.

It’s just that I hate to see someone immediately berate a title for being similar to something else and calling it bad because of it. i.e. something like “Such and Such is just another crappy harem show.

Why should a reviewer write his reviews assuming that his reader is not familiar with anime, when virtually all of his audience has seen a good number of titles? To paraphrase Emerson, “Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of low quality anime titles.” A few people may get a new experience from something like Happy Lesson, but most people have been there before.

If the reviewer can make his points well and explain why in the case of that title the cliches don’t work, that’s not so bad. Problem is I often times don’t find that kind of reviewing done and it ends up just a padded version of the example above.

Which, again, implies that you think there is a problem with a reviewer making his points and mentioning a title’s unoriginality. I think Chris’s problem is with anime reviewing, not the mentioning of cliches in anime reviewing.

In my opinion, cliches are done so much, hence becomming cliches, because not only can it be difficult to be unique and completely original but it’s also because it becomes something that works.

Ooooh, he agrees with me.

I’ve seen dozens of harem shows, which I find to be the biggest targets of the negative cliche reviews, and I’m not at all tired of the same formulas over and over. These shows wouldn’t be so cliched if nobody enjoyed them. In my opinion that’s the key point a lot of reviewers neglect.

The truth comes out: Chris doesn’t like harem anime getting bad grades from reviewers. He’s right, cliches wouldn’t exist if they weren’t once enjoyed, but the more most people see of something, the less they enjoy it. I doubt Chris gets the same enjoyment from his 50th harem anime that he did from his first.

I also think most of them, conciously or subconciously, write their reviews with the idea in mind that most people feel the same way they do. I think this is a wrong way of doing it.

Now here’s where we have a problem. Reviewers write their opinions about a title, they don’t worry about what others think. According to your plan, I should review every harem anime from the point of view of a harem anime fan, and every shounen anime as a shounen fan. This is ridiculous. There would be no negative reviews, because for every anime out there someone likes it, and if I don’t review from that standpoint I’m “doing it wrong.” You can’t please everyone; all you can do is give your opinion which inherently carries some bias.

Basically, what I’m saying is I would love to see less biased reviews and see more of them written in a one-on-one objective focus on what the show brings to the table.

Anime titles don’t exist in a vaccum, so why should they be reviewed as such? The only way a person can make meaningful value judgments is to compare what they are judging to something else. If you want to see more reviews that give harem anime high marks, I suggest you write them yourself.

Try not to be personal and when writing a review examine it as if it were the first time you’ve encountered it.

When I write a review, it’s usually the first time I encountered the anime, so how else could I examine it? If by “it” you mean the formula, then that is impossible, since I can only write from my experiences. Once again, what is the benefit of assuming something that is not true for the overwhelming majority of my readership?

It’s kinda funny when I think about it - often times a reviewer themselves can become cliches in the very ways they often despise by constantly berating titles for the same things over and over.

So, if titles keep doing the same things wrong over and over, I should pretend otherwise so as not to appear cliche? This is preferable to being honest?

When I think about a show I think about that show and only that show, so maybe that’s another reason I can enjoy most of what I watch more than most people who write reviews apparently can.

I don’t punish titles specifically because they don’t do things as well as other titles. Even so, comparing with other titles does give an important frame of reference. If title A gets a 9/10 for its plot, and title B had a similar plot that wasn’t as good, I can use title A as a reference point for title B’s grade. Perhaps title B deserves a 7/10, because it didn’t execute as well as it could have. Title A didn’t make me dislike title B more, it just helped me better figure out how good it was relevant to other titles I’ve seen.

Which brings up another good point, the common, “Reviewers hate anime” mantra. Nothing could be farther from the truth. If I hated anime so much, why would I watch so much of it? People tend to interpret anything lower than 8/10 as hatred, which isn’t true for NHRV, as I’m sure it isn’t true elsewhere. 2 or 3 out of 10 is where I draw the line for hatred.

So please, I’m not desiring that reviewers enjoy everything and call everything good,

Just harem anime and other titles I like.